Happy Chanukka und einen frohen 1. Advent

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Last night my husband says to me: ‘ Don’t you feel like making my mom’s doughnut’s?’ I was a little confused to annoyed because we all know that making doughnuts isn’t just done within 5 minutes.
Papa Madola seems to just always been handed over the ready made doughnuts without seeing the effort that goes into it. But this time around I made sure he saw what goes into it ­čÖé
I organised the recipe from my mother-in-law (she makes the best doughnuts by far), and started making the dough early this morning before breakfast.

After breakfast I cut out the doughnuts and left them to rise. In the meantime I organised the frying-oil and the icing to make sure I am prepared when they have risen and then cooled down and ready to be iced.

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And being back in Germany we are joining the german traditions like Adventszeit with our jewish traditions. In Cape Town I found the Adventszeit was never a big deal. The mood and feeling never came up due to the warmth and sun in November, December and I didn’t ever really bother to start the mood of baking, candles and warm soup.

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But now that we are in Berlin and it’s so nice and cold, the Christmas-Markets all around us, I have decided to join the two cultures. So today, we will have the doughnuts and light the Chanukka candles and we will also light the Adventskranz candles this afternoon.

Lets see how it pans out :-)*Hugs and Kisses*

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Women need midwives, M├╝tter brauchen Hebammen!!!

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It seems like a century ago that I wanted to be an independent midwife myself. I applied to all german midwifery schools for a place to learn how to become one of those amazing women that get to be a witness during the most amazing moment when a baby is born. I did some really good practicals, witnessed some amazing home deliveries and not so amazing but necessary cesearen sections and made up my mind to become one of them.

But life happened and I moved from the north of Germany all the way to Cape Town, South Africa to be with my now amazing husband Papa Madola. I started my Nursing Degree in Cape Town and during the course of my studies, also got to deliver some babies myself. And to my astonishment, I didn’t feel any connection. It seemed like the idea of being a midwife was more exciting than actually being responsible for the delivery, the mother and the child.

I finished my studies, not knowing what the heck I was going to do. Since my childhood I had a plan for myself and now I realised it wasn’t for me. I wasn’t born to be a midwife. And I know you have to be born one or you won’t be the best at it. You feel the passion for the job or you don’t. And I realised I didn’t feel that passion when I delivered my 15 babies during my studies.

But what I do know is, that I still feel very strongly about the profession and I believe that mothers and pregnant women are in need of a midwife. They are the rock for most mothers when they feel exhausted, when they feel they are loosing control over their bodies, birth plan or after the baby is born when they feel lost in between breastfeeding, changing nappies and raging hormone cocktails.
We need midwives to to fend off the world when we are too weak to do so ourselves and we need a midwife to be our advocate in a hospital situation. She is our best friend in pregnancy, delivery and once the baby is born.

Now being back in Berlin, Germany, they want to make it clearly impossible for midwives to exist. The government is raising the insurance contribution so high, that it basically forces the midwives to stop working as such or to work for free. And that is happening in a first world country where I was told we were a child-frienldy country.
But how can that be. Without midwives we mothers would be forced to be monitored by only a doctor, then have our babies in the hospital. What kind of a plan is that.
It stinks and we have to stand up to that. It’s our choice to make where we have our children and who supports us during the prenatal, delivery and postnatal time.
Without midwives we will be forced only one way and that’s the hospital with all it’s machines. Yes of cause that is necessary sometimes, but most babies can be born out of the hospital and attended by only a midwife.

I am going to attach a link. Please sign the petition to support the further existence of midwives in Germany and spread the word about it.

http://www.change.org/hebammen

Thank you and good night.*Hugs and Kisses*

Back again… new energy!

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the last month has been crazy, my little man has started kindergarden and even though I thought I would be cool about it, I do miss him when I leave him for 15 min. Crazy how attached a mother is to her child. Oh well its crazy how I am attached to little Lennon, who isn’t so little any more after all.
He doesn’t visit the kindergarden the whole day, just for two hours and I am accompany him the whole time, but I sit in the background and let the kindergarden teacher handle everything. Then I leave for 15 min and go around the block once or twice to kill the time. Its weird to have the time/ peace to look at things in the shops, windows and be at a supermarket without having someone pull stuff out of the shelves from their pram. Hahahaha after 2 years of having my sunshine around, I can’t remember life before him. Thats great. So happy to have him and to also slowly find some new freedom.
Next week we will hopefully take the next step and I will leave him for a longer time so that he actually really accepts and realises that I can go and leave him with the other kids and that I also come back every time.

Otherwise Berlin has been rainy, grey, winter and pre-adventszeit. When I lived in Cape Town, I always missed this time. The time when it gets cold and rainy. I do kind of love putting the heaters on, lighting candles all over the rooms and baking christmas-biscuits. It makes my heart feel warm ­čÖé I have made some double chocolate chip cookies so far and some peanut butter biscuits. Lennon loves them, so do I. Papa Madola isn’t such a biscuit fan. So Lennon and I get to eat them all…

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What do you guys bake, pickle, cook during this time?
Its funny in Cape Town this feeling of having to bake, cook, pickle things, never overcame me. Must have been the warm weather and time at the Clifton Beach that kept me occupied enough to not think about it ­čÖé

Would love to hear what you guys are making this christmas-time.

*Hugs and Kisses*

Lennon and my iPhone

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Just paged through a parenting magazine ‘Nido’ and saw that according to a study (KIM-Study 2012) two thirds of kids between six and thirteen years of age are interested and glued to a cellphone/ smartphone.
I was a little shocked but then reminded myself of my own little man Lennon. He isn’t even six yet and he is already asking to play with my iPhone.
I always wonder if we as parents should give in, to the ‘new-age’ way of playing, or should we be hard and make it clear from the beginning that we don’t want them playing games on the iPhone.

I grew up without any smartphones, iPads, we didn’t even have a computer or TV. When my siblings and I wanted to play, we went outside, played in the room with cars, dolls, or we sat around looking at pictures in books etc.
But I do remember, whenever I went to a friends house, where they had a TV or computer, I was literally glued to the ‘new’ entertainment. It wasn’t very social of me.

And now that I am a mother and have to make these decisions for my son, I always wonder what the good middle path is. A little here and a little there can’t be bad. But everything in moderation.

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But I do find it very scary how my son can un-slides/unlocks my iPhone, slides the icons to the left to reach his one game that is on my phone. He taps it, hits play and plays the game. When he is done and had enough, he pushes the home button to return to the home screen and put’s the phone down.

I downloaded the game only for the really hard times, when he is screaming on the underground train, or when he won’t sit still at a doctor’s office etc. But maybe I should delete it and stop letting him play with it.

I have made it my mission to not be on the phone as much and I try really hard to leave the phone behind when I am on the move and busy with Lennon.
And I must say, I haven’t been on the phone as much and he doesn’t get reminded of the cellular device ­čÖé The nagging for the phone has almost stopped. Great!
I most definitely miss it more than he does. Its kind of sick how we believe we can’t live without these things. How it’s such a habit to check my emails all the time, check facebook and who is doing what. I mean it really is mind boggling how we depend on these devices out of habit.

*Hugs and Kisses*

It also happened to me…I got tagged

Here we go. Es hat mich nun auch erwischt…
It’s sunday and I get a comment about the good old tagging and someone has had the clever idea to connect via a ‘Tagging-Game’. Toll!

Trotz meiner sehr kurzen Zeit als Blogger im World Wide Web, erstaunt es mich immer wieder wie klein die Welt ist und das so manch anderer doch meine kleinen Beitr├Ąge liest. Thank you so much for reading my little post’s I post once in a while. It must be the best feeling and satisfaction, to know that someone out there took the time to read what you had to say. Danke!

So now it’s Game-On ­čÖé

The rules are (Regeln):

1) Beantworte die Fragen, die der Tagger gestellt hat
2) Denke dir selbst zehn Fragen aus, die du den Bloggern, die du taggen m├Âchtest, stellst
3) Such dir zehn Blogs aus, die unter 200 Follower haben und tagge sie
4) Erz├Ąhle es den gl├╝cklichen Bloggern
5) Zur├╝cktaggen ist nicht erlaubt

For the english speaking readers I’m going to explain it in short.
You have to reply to the questions asked by the blogger you were tagged by, then come up with 10 questions yourself to ask other bloggers, then tagg other blogs that have less than 200 followers ( us ‘small-time’ bloggers also want to have some fun), then tell the happyily tagged bloggers and remember that tagging the blogger that tagged you is not allowed!

Now here are the questions asked by Magda von http://vincling.com:

Lieblings-Makeup Marke?
Without a doubt the good old Chanel
Blogger Trend Apple Macbook und iPhone oder lieber Geld gespart?
Apple MacBook Air und iPhone, welches aber baden gegangen ist und ich im Moment iPhone-los bin ­čśŽ
Lieblings-US-Serie
Im Moment ‘Breaking Bad’.
Lieblingsgetr├Ąnk
Very boring but I really love sparkling water after living in Cape Town, South Africa where I never had sparkling water, it feels good to be home ­čÖé
Heiraten: Unbedingt oder Auf gar keinen Fall?
Gl├╝cklich verheiratet.
Wenn ja, romantisch oder klein und an einem Nachmittag erledigt?
Montag entschieden zu heiraten, Dienstag ( Tag darauf) geheiratet im kleinsten Kreise. W├╝rde es immer wieder so machen! Keine Zeit f├╝r Schnickschnack!
Filme lieber auf Deutsch oder O-Ton h├Âren?
Deutsche Filme auf deutsch. Alles andere auf englisch.
Brille oder Kontaktlinsen?
Habe gl├╝cklicherweise Adler-Augen.
Selfmade oder Gekauft?
It depends on who and what…
Fussball oder lieber Cocktails?
Auf jeden Fall Fussball.

Und nun meine 10 Fragen:

  • Strandurlaub oder Skifahren?
  • Favourite Fashionlabel?
  • Kinder, wenn ja wieviele?
  • Kaffee oder lieber Tee?
  • Schon mal im Ausland gelebt oder noch nicht?
  • Pizza oder Pasta?
  • Ostsee oder lieber das Wattenmeer der Nordsee?
  • Lieblings Blog to read?
  • Favourite spot f├╝r’s Wochende?
  • Lieblingsfarbe?

Meine Blogs that I tagged:

http://erdbeermaedchen2009.blogspot.de

thronfolgerin.wordpress.com

knirps-mit-kruemel.blogspot.de

secondlifemama.de

familienfreundlich.blogspot.de

filea.de

momscam.blogspot.de

mamaseinfraubleiben.wordpress.com

maternityfashionblog.wordpress.com

Spoilt kids and stressed parents

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One mother-blog I follow, wrote about us spoiling our kids and not letting them do things we did when we were their age. It resonated with me very much. I always feel I am not letting Lennon do what he wants because I’m supposed to be scared he might hurt himself, fail or just about what other people might say. Why do I do that?! Its crazy!

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When I lived in Cape Town, South Africa, I felt unsafe a lot of the time. And when I got back here to Berlin, it was like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders because of me feeling much safer. Now I hear, in this blog I read, that she wouldn’t let her son walk the streets of Berlin, or just to kindergarten or school by himself. And he is something like 4 or 5 years old. I used to do that all the time when I was that age. Ok it wasn’t as big of a place like Berlin, but I feel like our parents trusted us more and knew we were gonna be fine. Especially after having lived in a country like South Africa, it kind of seems weird to feel scared for our kids. Maybe Berlin isn’t as safe as my hometown L├╝beck, but its a whole lot safer than where I lived the last 6 years.

Do we over-protect our children? I do think so. I do think we have become parents that say ‘No’ more than ‘Yes’ to the instincts of our kids. We let them talk, misbehave, throw uncontrolled tantrums and let them be rude to the ice cream man. But I find that we try to constantly stop them in their movements, eagerness to climb, throw things and to test their boundaries physically and emotionally.

What happened to good old teaching ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ by letting the explore with little guidance by us? Why do we think we have to constantly talk, explain, discuss and analyse with our kids. I thought we were the parents and we had the say. What happened to that? Since when does a child get to make the choice when we are eating, going somewhere or what cloths he/she wants to wear. It really boggles my mind and I am starting to wonder what kind of people we are raising. *Hugs and Kisses*

Its friday! Hell YEAHHH

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Its friday and the sun is shining.
My beautiful husband is in Hamburg for business and I am making challah for tonight’s shabbes dinner.
What are you guys up to? Nix, Nichts, Nada?

I promised you a picture of my peach cake I baked the other miserable day. Here it is…

Otherwise, the son of mine is having his midday nap, I should also sleep, didn’t have much sleep last night, but I have had three cups of coffee and feel more like spring cleaning than sleeping.
I might just collapse later. Not a good idea. Lets see.
I hope my husband is gonna return from Hamburg soon so we can make sure to get outside and catch some sun. I feel like I have to make use of all the sun that’s left until the german winter hits us again. Oh how I am dreading the cold and the snow.
I would love to live 6 months in Berlin, Germany and the other half, during the german winter, somewhere else in the world where its warm and nice during the december time.
I know I had that in Cape Town. Almost no winter. I mean a little rain and some really uncomfortable days in june, July, but never winter like here in Berlin. I must say, I prefer the capetonian weather any day.
Wish the quality of life would be the same in Cape Town as it is in Berlin. I would still be living over there.

This weekend we have a Strassenfest happening in our Kiez.
I’m interested how that will turn out. I saw them setting up yesterday already and its starting this afternoon. check it out: http://castingcarree.de

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It’s gonna be funny and interesting to go there tomorrow or maybe even tonight for a beer or two and watch all the different colourful people that live in this area. As I have mentioned in a previous post, I do live in ‘Hipster Town Central’ here in Berlin and I do love sitting somewhere just watching these Hipsters drink their latte macchiato’s, wearing their creepers and Charlie Chaplin hat’s. Not sure what all the fuss is about but I do find it all very entertaining ­čÖé
Is that wrong? I don’t think so, I am a housewife with a 20 month old child, wearing normal cloths, maybe on the boring side of style and I like to wonder about these Hipsters where they get their confidence from to walk around either almost naked or more like a christmas tree.*Hugs and Kisses*

Zwischen ‘Dakke’, ‘What’s That?’ and Vbac

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The little Lennon is starting to make little sentences.
It’s too sweet sometimes. It happens and I wonder if I heard right.
Yesterday he points at a bird and says: ‘What’s that?’. Not very well pronounced and a little wishy washy but it was there. Maybe I’m just the proud mother that hearing things but I believe he said it and thats enough for me ­čÖé

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Otherwise it’s becoming cold and wet here in Berlin.
I’m going to bake a cake with the little prince when he wakes up from his nap. He loves to help me in the kitchen and we both love to make a big mess in the kitchen while baking and cooking. He tasts all the different things and tries to stir the dough. So cute the little man. Afterwards he gets to eat the cake and I start cleaning. Doesn’t seem fair but I don’t mind. That sweet little face makes it all worth it.

Last night I was reading an article about woman being pressured into having a caesarean section more and more. I was shocked at the increase. Don’t get me wrong, thank god we have this procedure to help us when needed, but don’t these doctors and woman think about the consequences of a caesarean? I studied nursing, midwifery and psychiatric nursing in Cape Town, South Africa and I am sometimes baffled at the way woman leave the decisions up to the doctors, nurses and midwives. Why don’t so many woman inform themselves before hand, why aren’t they proactive when it comes to having their children. I remember a friend of mine that told me she was talked into having a caesarean with her first born and that she felt lost and without any control over what was going to happen to her and her baby.
I asked her why she didn’t contact a midwife when she found out that she was pregnant. And she answered with: ‘ I didn’t know where and who to ask’. I was shocked. This friend is a well educated woman and left it up to her doctor to make the decisions. Maybe I should have told her where to go when she was pregnant. At that time I was still a first year student and wasn’t so clued up about the midwives in Cape Town. But I think I at least should have given her a little nudge to make her question her non- existent birth plan. Yes, the doctors, nurses and midwives probably most of the time know better, but being pregnant and having children is not a illness, we don’t need surgery to have children in most cases, the why do we leave it up to the people that perform surgeries all day.

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Ok I am venting about something completely weird. But I have been thinking about these things recently.
I am now back in Germany and in future I will have to find a Doctor that is willing to help me deliver my second baby via Vbac.
Yes, I also had a caesarean section. But it wasn’t planned, I wanted a home birth, but my dear Lennon wanted to sun tan, rather than turn into an anterior position to fit through my pelvis. So I watched my fears come true that day, but on the other end our beautiful, perfect son was born and all was worth it.

I hope that the support system here in Berlin is better than in Cape Town, I hope I can find a doctor that is open to give nature a chance and to let it be. I know that my chance to have another caesarean is high, but I want to at least try when the time comes.

What are your guys experiences? How did you deal with a birth-plan being ripped to pieces? Did you ever feel you failed because it didn’t happen they way you wished for?

Ok, I promise, next time I’ll write a little more happy and colourful ­čÖé

*Hugs and Kisses*